Offbeat humor

Sometimes it is nice to relax a little by reading, listening to, or looking at something funny.

" 'There's threepence for you and Master wishes you'd move on'. 'Threepence indeed!! I never moves on under sixpence - d'ye think I doesn't know the walley o' peace and quietness' " caricature by Robert Seymour, published in Seymour's Humorous Sketches by Henry Bohn, 1878. 

 

"Doorman, call me a cab."

Sir, I am not a doorman. I am an admiral in the U.S. Navy."

"Fine - then call me a boat."

"A Pic Nic. O lawkes, theres that nasty cow walking all over our dinner! ..." caricature by Robert Seymour, published in Seymour's Humorous Sketches by Henry Bohn, 1878. 

Man on plane: "Look, the people way down there look like ants."

Wife: "They are ants, stupid. We´re still on the ground."

xxx

"Your beef stew was delicious. May I have the recipe?"

Chef on the SS United States: "Certainly. First you take 3000 onions ...."

"Gent in a soft voice: A small portion of veal and ham, well done! Waiter in a voice of thunder: Plate o'weal, an damn well done" caricature by Robert Seymour, published in Seymour's Humorous Sketches by Henry Bohn, 1878

"Welcome to Pago."

"I thought it was Pago Pago."

"It´s not half the place it used to be."

PS

The jokes above are from "The Best in Offbeat Humor" by Paul B. Lowney, published in 1968.
(I noticed that there is now a sequel to the book available.)

The caricatures are for sale at Steve Bartrick´s wonderful collection of old prints and maps.